How are you right now?
I invite you to take two minutes to observe yourself in the following ways and make a note of what your notice:
- What’s happening for you in language?
- That is, what are you thinking, what are you saying to yourself, what’s on your mind?
- What moods and/or emotions are you in?
- What names or labels would you give them?
- What is happening in your body?
- What sensations can you notice?
- What about muscle tension – where are you tense and where are you relaxed?
- What do you notice about your posture?
- What do you notice about your breathing?
Did you take 2 minutes? Of course it’s up to you, but the rest of this post will make more sense if you have undertaken this activity.
What was it like to do that just now?
Everything we do, we do from the way of being we have while we are doing what we do. Doing in this context includes, speaking, listening and thinking, as much as it includes doings that involve more obvious physical action that another can easily observe. Our way of being in the moment might or might not be the most resourceful or useful for what we want to be doing.
Is the way of being that you have right now the most useful or resourceful for what you want to be doing? If not how might you change it?
In this example I shifted my way of being. The shift was initiated with the mood shift from anxiety to curiosity when I got in touch with what was most important to me – being a contribution. I have no doubt that my words, my posture and my tone of voice all changed with my mood and contributed to the success of the performance reviews. Interestingly the change happened without needing any new knowledge about performance management. The quality of the conversations changed with the change in my way of being.
Please share this post with your friends and colleagues if you found it useful.
Acknowledgements: I give deep thanks: to the original developers of Ontological Coaching including Fernando Flores and Rafael Echeverria; to the lineage of thinkers and philosophers who informed them and to Alan Sieler (with whom I studied coaching) who has extended and documented these ideas and practices.